Ah the great resignation, is the grass greener on the other side?

Can I be honest? Working multiple jobs early on in your adult life is one thing but walking away from a career you‘ve dedicated a good chunk of your life to is whole other. It’s hard. Difficult. Stressful. Heck, you’re probably losing sleep over this insanely hard decision. People don’t talk about this topic enough.

Since taking the leap into going full time in my business, I’ve had old peers, co-workers, and friends who were considering changing careers too, reach out to check-in and ask for some advice.

If you’re contemplating whether or not you should make a major career change as a fully established working professional in your 30’s or 40’s, I hope you find this article helpful.

Don’t Make Major Life Decisions When Your Pregnant

For my expecting mamas out there, this one’s for you. You’re probably thinking this is common sense advice. When you’re living in the moment with all those hormones out of wack, it’s a crazy rollercoaster of emotions and some days you don’t even recognize yourself. People make major life decisions everyday based off their emotions (I get that, just look at the recent California exodus) but there’s a difference.

Bringing a baby into the world is already a major life transition on its own.

If you can avoid it, I suggest trying to not make life altering decisions until after the fog of having and caring for a newborn has lifted. When you’re building a human, the pregnancy can play out in many different ways. It’s a time to relax and enjoy the process. Not burden yourself with stress.

I decided to pivot careers and start a whole new business around the time our daughter was born.

My decision to pivot was deeply personal and totally aligned with something that had been on my heart for a long time.

As hard as it was, the timing of it all (in hindsight) was perfect.

I know I had been putting off the thing I really wanted to do for a long time but each passing year (as my levels of financial freedom kept looking better and better) it made it harder and harder to walk away.

This time around the universe wasn’t as subtle. My mental and emotional well-being was not in a healthy place and because of my already high-risk pregnancy, I knew I had to make me and my baby the number priority. Having my daughter gave me the clarity and courage I needed to follow my calling. I couldn’t continue to ignore it anymore.

My situation was unique to me, as will yours be for you. If you can help it, choose the path to least resistance always.

Consider Your Lifestyle First

Before deciding to climb the corporate ladder and living the golden handcuff life, I wish I had a moment where I had pulled over to the side of the road, take a deep breath, and really considered if it was the lifestyle I truly wanted.

Am I happy?

Was I doing it for the right reasons?

Is this my version of success or somebody else’s?

Growing up with immigrant parents, there was never talk about lifestyle goals. It was only a question of career choice, not lifestyle choice. Most of the adults in my life held onto the same jobs until they retired so the idea of changing careers was not normal.

What is common is the traditional blueprint we’ve been conditioned to subscribe to: Finish school, choose a lucrative career with a 401k, buy a house, maybe start a family, retire, travel, live happily every after.

Grab a notebook

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself if you plan to hit the career reset button and redesign a life you love:

• How many hours do you want to work?
• What is your ideal lifestyle?
• What would a perfect work week look like?
• How does your future relationships or family fit into that ideal lifestyle?
• Where do you want to live?
• Are you cool with hiring a babysitter or is it important for you to be the one who shows up for school pick up? Consider when they’re older and want to play sports or other extra curricular activities will that be possible with your schedule?
• Would you prefer to do work that taps more into your creative talents?
• Do you prefer the kind of role where you can just clock in and out and collect a pay check without any worry or stress about work when you’re home?
• Financially, how much is enough?
• If money wasn’t an issue, what would you spend your time doing that brings you the most joy?
• What does success mean to you?
• How often do you want to travel or take vacation?
• Would you rather stay in a traditional job or be your own boss?
• What do you value most and how can you ensure you protect that?

If you found it challenging to answer some of those questions or to visualize that far ahead, you’re not alone. Consider making a list of role models you look up to. Conduct some research online or interview that person if they are in proximity to you (I assure you they will be flattered to share all about themselves).

Hire a Coach

I know from experience how difficult it can be to separate the feelings of what you think you should want vs. what you truly deep in your heart want.

To get unstuck, I hired a coach.

When you are constantly overthinking what your next right move should be or how to rise above all the mental chatter and fear of making the wrong decision. Working with someone 1:1 could be one of the greatest investments you ever make in breaking through to a new level of thinking.

A Story About Jane

Jane always wanted to be a photographer. She dreamed of photographing weddings and working with happy brides. Her parents expected her to get a “real job” so she finished school and majored in accounting.

Jane was miserable.

She wanted a career change but she thought it was too late for her. Jane mustered up the courage to pivot into the dream job she remembered having since she was a little girl, being a wedding photographer! She set off to learn all the things and eventually books her first few clients.

A few dozen weddings later she realized how much she disliked working with overbearing brides and more than that – she hated sitting down at the computer for hours editing her photos. It wasn’t as fulfilling as she thought. Jane barely had any time left for anything else.

Thankfully with advancement in technology there a lot of paths Jane could take from there to make her situation more enjoyable but she could’ve saved a lot of time and stress had she taken the time to research or interview other wedding photographers.

I’ve heard this story time and time again. Make time to do your research first.

Borrowed Beliefs

The person who can talk you out of your dreams the fastest, is you.

I’ve had clients tell me they can’t remember the last time they allowed themselves to dream (at least not since they were kids). Deciding on a big career change and beginning a new chapter is a blank page and good news, you get to write the story! If the struggle is real and it feels hard enough just to get yourself out of bed in the morning, then to that I say honor that struggle.

Don’t beat yourself up and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Talk to a friend about how you feel, hire a therapist, or reach out to a credentialed coach. Listen to what your body needs. While your mind might be screaming to quit, your body is screaming for rest.

If the only thing holding you back is lack of confidence then friend, go borrow somebody else’s belief. When you have an idea in your heart about something you’ve always wanted to do or start but can’t possibly see how you could ever achieve something so big, you can borrow someone else’s belief. Every time I reach a new point in my personal or professional life that requires more courage, I reach out for help. I find someone who is leaps ahead of me and most of the time they say, oh yeah I was scared too but its actually easier than you think I promise.

Just to hear another human speak with such a nonchalant tone about something I’m internally freaking out about, is exactly what I need to make my next bold move.

Dancing Cats

That’s the gift of the digital content era isn’t it? One quick search and you open yourself up to countless real life examples of people who have felt the exact same way but found a path regardless of their circumstances. From being technology challenged to financially challenged to physically challenged like the beautiful Amy Purdy who lost her legs but still went on to win the Olympics. Inspiration and evidence are everywhere if you go looking for it.

Autobiographies, blogs, podcasts, and YouTube can all be life-changing resources if you use it apart from watching cool dancing cat videos. There are many successful people sharing content about what they’ve learned and what they wish they did differently. Are you sure you want to be a billionaire? Make sure you want the schedule and lifestyle that comes along with it.

Reality Check: You Only See What They Want You To See

Do you look up to those online 8-figure entrepreneurs who have “made it”. Make sure you consider the ones who’ve ended up burning out in the process and going on sabbatical or worse ended up in the hospital. How about the always busy C suite Executives who are miserable inside because while professionally they’re winning the game, personally they long for something more.

I make a point to highlight the good and the not so good because it’s easy for people to sell you “the dream” and I don’t want you to scale a mountain only to get to the top and realize you killed yourself climbing the wrong one.

Self-awareness and knowing how to practice discernment is so important. If you struggle with that as you are thinking of making a major career change, you will end up with your head spinning from information overload and paralyzed with fear to make any kind of next move. I know because that was me. So what helped? Well, I’m glad you asked. Keep on reading to find out.

You Are Not Your Brain

Embodiment Cognition

Making a big career change can bring on a lot of stress and trigger bouts of anxiety (especially if you are the bread winner of a family that depends on you). You’ve made the list of pros and cons. You’ve talked it through with your spouse, parent, or friend. But all this thinking is making it harder. That’s because (what I’ve come to realize) is you can’t always think your way there.

The top reason my clients seek to work with me is because my philosophy is that knowledge is simply not enough. Embodied knowledge and connecting to your inner wisdom is a big part of the path to transformation. Soulfulpivot coaching considers your entire being: emotional, mental, spiritual, physical, and energetic. Your body keeps score and sadly it’s the last place we often go to look. We look everywhere else and to everyone else for answers.

If you’re on a long journey figuring out what you want to do, go within. If you still need help, you might be a great candidate for private coaching.

Enjoy The Journey

Look back to your last climb. Was it was easy? Or was it hard and painful with a lot of tears and barriers to break through? On a scale between 1-10 rate how ALIVE did you feel moving towards that point in your life.

After you have your number consider how you feel right now. How alive and lit up with purpose do you feel right now? (same scale 1-10 with 10 being the most alive).

My guess is the journey up scored higher. That’s because we were created to grow. We need meaningful pursuits in our lives. We are meant to keep learning and moving forward. It’s never about the destination (another thing they didn’t teach you in school).

Is there more growing you can do in your current role or organization? Or did you hit a level of personal fulfillment with all you have achieved and you feel over ready for something completely new. Only you can answer that.

I’ll leave you with some final thoughts as you navigate this important transition in your life:

• Make sure you’re following your own map and not somebody else’s.

• Don’t let anyone fool you into chasing a dream that isn’t yours.

• Don’t let those closest to you feed your mind with guilt about wanting more.

• Think in decades. Consider what life feels like 10, 15, 20 years out.

• You get to choose what game you play next, choose wisely.

Enjoy the journey, friend.

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